Poop
It wasn't called poop when I told what happened to R last night. It was Shit, with a capital S. Poop in diapers is fine by me. The smell is no bother, and a quick wash of the hands will remove any poop crumbs stuck under your nails after a change.
But poop on the floor is a bother. And poop all over the rug drives me over the edge.
So I'm just about to feed G when H yells from the bathroom, "Oh-no, I'm pooping!" He never shares this information unless he's not where he should be. I peek out from the kitchen toward the bathroom, and sure enough, there's a 7 inch dangler from Harrison's bottom to the floor. No matter how potty trained you think your child is, the threat is always there.
10 minutes later (of Gigi screaming for her dinner), it's cleaned up and he's in the bath. I feed G and put her in the bath as well. She has a diaper rash from too many grapes, so after drying her off, I let her crawl around for a few minutes to air out. I go to pour H a bowl of soup, and within 60 seconds, he calls out, "Mommy, Gigi spit out, look." I look. It's most certainly not spit. Spit is much less brown and usually thinner.
Here's a short list of what's covered:
4 square feet of rug
4 toy soldiers
3 toy cowboys
1 shoe box
1 plastic Halloween skeleton glove
1 drum lid
1 drum stick
1 child's broom handle (where are the bristles?)
1 onesie
1 pajama top
1 adorable bottom
2 adorable legs
I call my emergency contact and ask what the hell is taking you so long I don't care that you haven't moved 3 feet in the last half hour get your ass home right now I'm breaking down.
Of course, the moral is NEVER let your child crawl around without a diaper, particularly if she's had too much fruit of any kind except bananas and applesauce. Those are okay because they slow things down.
And, the upside: the rug is now cleaner than it's ever been, thanks to running over it 8 times with the Rug Doctor. I'd been meaning to do that anyway.
But poop on the floor is a bother. And poop all over the rug drives me over the edge.
So I'm just about to feed G when H yells from the bathroom, "Oh-no, I'm pooping!" He never shares this information unless he's not where he should be. I peek out from the kitchen toward the bathroom, and sure enough, there's a 7 inch dangler from Harrison's bottom to the floor. No matter how potty trained you think your child is, the threat is always there.
10 minutes later (of Gigi screaming for her dinner), it's cleaned up and he's in the bath. I feed G and put her in the bath as well. She has a diaper rash from too many grapes, so after drying her off, I let her crawl around for a few minutes to air out. I go to pour H a bowl of soup, and within 60 seconds, he calls out, "Mommy, Gigi spit out, look." I look. It's most certainly not spit. Spit is much less brown and usually thinner.
Here's a short list of what's covered:
4 square feet of rug
4 toy soldiers
3 toy cowboys
1 shoe box
1 plastic Halloween skeleton glove
1 drum lid
1 drum stick
1 child's broom handle (where are the bristles?)
1 onesie
1 pajama top
1 adorable bottom
2 adorable legs
I call my emergency contact and ask what the hell is taking you so long I don't care that you haven't moved 3 feet in the last half hour get your ass home right now I'm breaking down.
Of course, the moral is NEVER let your child crawl around without a diaper, particularly if she's had too much fruit of any kind except bananas and applesauce. Those are okay because they slow things down.
And, the upside: the rug is now cleaner than it's ever been, thanks to running over it 8 times with the Rug Doctor. I'd been meaning to do that anyway.
posted by Anne at 1:13 PM
4 Comments:
Oh dear. Wow. That's quite a story.
Just a few weeks ago when I was at my sisters, she lifted my nephew's bottom to put a diaper under him and he squirted. Breast-milk-yellow-brown poo went everywhere.
Wow.
Yes, those were the days. I had the squirty poop happen to me a few times too. It travels far. But that kind smells like strawberry ice cream compared to the toddler variety. As long as it's all contained, it's not so bad.
Oh yes, my niece creates some real winners. She's 2.
I used to think her baby poo smelled like breakfast sausage. Turns out my sister was taking some sort of fennel supplement and that's what caused it. I have a keen nose for poo.
Haha! Breakfast sausage. That would make me hungry. I think I'll have some tomorrow.
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