Dinner Party

While reading another article by Christopher Hitchens today, I remembered a daydream I had months ago. You know that old question that asks if you could invite anyone over for dinner, living or dead, who would it be? Some might choose presidents like Lincoln or Kennedy. Some might choose spiritual figures like Gandhi or Jesus. Or perhaps just da Vinci, by himself, because that's a lot for one evening.

Me, I just want to laugh. Isn't that what a dinner party is for? Laughter interspersed with mock conversation?

Clearly I must leave a spot for Hitchens at the table, complete with an enormous glass of scotch and an ashtray (pretend the party's in the garden). He writes regularly for my favorite mag, Vanity Fair, and now I've noticed often on Slate. I don't follow his every word, nor do I agree with all of his ideas, but I've enjoyed everything I've read from him so far. He writes smart, funny and in a brave style that's not common. I have to invite someone to dinner who can so easily write (from Slate):

"However, what Article VI does not do, and was never intended to do, is deny me the right to say, as loudly as I may choose, that I will on no account vote for a smirking hick like Mike Huckabee, who is an unusually stupid primate but who does not have the elementary intelligence to recognize the fact that this is what he is."

I'm not sure who he would sit next to, but he'll have to find a place among the rest of the guests:

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, for a continuous stream of commentary that straddles intelligent and hilarious.

Oscar Wilde and Dorothy Parker, for their legendary wits.

Sacha Baron Cohen, for his remarkable chutzpah.

Dave Chapelle, for that "oh my god, did you just say that?" factor.

Groucho Marx, so that no one takes themselves too seriously (like that would happen).

Camille Paglia, so that everyone else looks normal by comparison.

And Ellen DeGeneres, for when we need a break from the sarcasm and profanity.

The physical bodies would fit at the table, but it's doubtful the egos would. And would they fall into cliques once the appetizers were served? Would Jon and Stephen be unable to resist talking about their next shows? Would Oscar and Dorothy want to engage in a battle of the wits (this is where I would hang out)? Would Camille and Christopher find it irresistible to discuss atheism in politics (the lack thereof)? Would Sacha and Dave try to sneak out to go to a party that wasn't so stodgy? And what of poor Groucho and Ellen? Surely they would find common ground, though I haven't the faintest idea what that might be.

Or would everyone mingle ebulliently, resulting in a raucous party lasting well into the next day? I can only dream.

Who would you invite?