The Great Equalizer

Camille Paglia's adopted son watches Sponge Bob. The child living in the home of one of the smartest women alive (and one of my favorite personalities) watches Sponge Bob.

I learned this while listening to an interview with her the other night on NPR. She was going on about the lack of spirituality in young people's lives and how that void is affecting them, making them indifferent or something. The interviewer, a longtime admirer, prodded her for a hint of how she plans to raise her young son. Camille seemed to ignore the idea that having a child somehow changes your philosophies. I took offense to this dismissal, since it seems obvious to me that having children changes everything, no matter how progressive you are. Anyway, during this exchange she guffawed and said the child was only four years old and watches Sponge Bob. Well, this made me smile.

If a woman who has God knows how many degrees allows Sponge Bob in her home, surely I'm not handicapping my son by letting him watch PBS an hour or two a day. Not that I have anything against Sponge Bob, and in all fairness I've only seen about 10 minutes of it altogether. It's just that I've grown comfortable with the gentle delivery of children's public television. No commercials to startle you into paying attention. No repetitive brainwashing promos ("right here on Playhouse Disney!") to drive you bonkers. Just one innocent program gliding into another. Camille didn't mention anything further about children's programming, so I can only assume there are other characters entering her home, any of which have a whole line of bath accessories found at Target.

After hearing this I came to the realization that it doesn't matter who you are - Angelina Jolie, Madonna, Nancy Pelosi - if you have children, you deal with the same things that the rest of us mothers deal with. Maybe they get a little more sleep or change a few less diapers, but kids are kids no matter who they belong to. They won't sleep more just because you're a brilliant professor. They won't cry less just because the paparazzi is waiting outside. And they certainly won't poop less just because you got a fresh manicure on your way to a photo shoot. Children bring all parents, even for a short time every day, to the same level of awe, love and exasperation. And they will make us watch Sponge Bob whether we like it or not.